so for some reason ive been feeling better about life and im starting to feel sorta happy now...
ive decided that the friends that i thought i could always count on betraying me doesnt bother me anymore.. its not like im missing out on anything if thats the way there going to be so its there loss not mine... so im really excited for spring break this year. my sister invited me to go along with some of her and her boyfriends friends to go to panama with them this year and i think it will be a blast. i cant wait for it and im just all of a sudden feeling happy about certain aspects of life now which i havent felt in a while.
so all in all it seems that life has finally taken a turn for the better and im so happy it has :)

Life

lately i've been feeling betrayed by some of the people i thought i could always count on. lately they've been lying to me and ignoring me and it hurts that this is happening. i've tried talking to them and they just ignore me alot of the time. it really hurts me that this didn't start until i really needed people in my life with being home and they disappeared on me. i've lost my support group and im struggling with it. sometimes i just need someone there to talk to and the bad thing is there isnt anyone there anymore.

Tired

I'm tired of it all...
I'm tired of not being able to count on friends
I'm tired of being abandoned by the people i care the most about
But most of all I'm tired of crying myself to sleep almost every night, I've tried everything but every night i spend in this house just makes me want to cry. I have nowhere to go and i dont feel like i could turn to anybody for help because no ones here. I don't even feel like i could turn to my best friend for help anymore. I've tried turning to god and giving it all to him and i dont know what else to do.