so for some reason ive been feeling better about life and im starting to feel sorta happy now...
ive decided that the friends that i thought i could always count on betraying me doesnt bother me anymore.. its not like im missing out on anything if thats the way there going to be so its there loss not mine... so im really excited for spring break this year. my sister invited me to go along with some of her and her boyfriends friends to go to panama with them this year and i think it will be a blast. i cant wait for it and im just all of a sudden feeling happy about certain aspects of life now which i havent felt in a while.
so all in all it seems that life has finally taken a turn for the better and im so happy it has :)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Life
lately i've been feeling betrayed by some of the people i thought i could always count on. lately they've been lying to me and ignoring me and it hurts that this is happening. i've tried talking to them and they just ignore me alot of the time. it really hurts me that this didn't start until i really needed people in my life with being home and they disappeared on me. i've lost my support group and im struggling with it. sometimes i just need someone there to talk to and the bad thing is there isnt anyone there anymore.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Tired
I'm tired of it all...
I'm tired of not being able to count on friends
I'm tired of being abandoned by the people i care the most about
But most of all I'm tired of crying myself to sleep almost every night, I've tried everything but every night i spend in this house just makes me want to cry. I have nowhere to go and i dont feel like i could turn to anybody for help because no ones here. I don't even feel like i could turn to my best friend for help anymore. I've tried turning to god and giving it all to him and i dont know what else to do.
I'm tired of not being able to count on friends
I'm tired of being abandoned by the people i care the most about
But most of all I'm tired of crying myself to sleep almost every night, I've tried everything but every night i spend in this house just makes me want to cry. I have nowhere to go and i dont feel like i could turn to anybody for help because no ones here. I don't even feel like i could turn to my best friend for help anymore. I've tried turning to god and giving it all to him and i dont know what else to do.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
ive been gone for a while
so i know i havent done this in a while but for some reason i felt like doing it tonight...
so recently i have done some thinking about my life and what is possible for me to do and i am going to move back home since i cant afford wku anymore. i have been struggling with my grades ever since coming here and i have been unable to bring them up enough for financial aid needs. im really depressed and stresses this semester about moving back home. i know that i wouldnt be going home if i hadnt screwed up so much in the last 2 semesters but this is what i get and i will live with it the best that i can. with going back home i am going to try and get a full-time job for the coming semester then go to jcc next fall. im really nervous about moving back home since ive never enjoyed living there even when i was younger. my mom and dad have not made it enjoyable and i dont see how it could get any better as it is unless a miracle happens which would be nice. im really going to miss the wonderful people i met here and i know i can still count on some of them that i have met here no matter what happens and im hoping ill be able to come visit some next semester.
i really gonna miss everyone and i love you guys more than any of you could ever imagine
so recently i have done some thinking about my life and what is possible for me to do and i am going to move back home since i cant afford wku anymore. i have been struggling with my grades ever since coming here and i have been unable to bring them up enough for financial aid needs. im really depressed and stresses this semester about moving back home. i know that i wouldnt be going home if i hadnt screwed up so much in the last 2 semesters but this is what i get and i will live with it the best that i can. with going back home i am going to try and get a full-time job for the coming semester then go to jcc next fall. im really nervous about moving back home since ive never enjoyed living there even when i was younger. my mom and dad have not made it enjoyable and i dont see how it could get any better as it is unless a miracle happens which would be nice. im really going to miss the wonderful people i met here and i know i can still count on some of them that i have met here no matter what happens and im hoping ill be able to come visit some next semester.
i really gonna miss everyone and i love you guys more than any of you could ever imagine
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
:)
after talking to some people last night i have finally been able to forgive my father for all of the stuff he has done in my past. after talking with them i decided to talk to my dad and my mom and i told my dad that i had forgiven him for all things that he has done and i was finally able to talk to my mom and she agreed to let me get baptized :) i had asked her over winter break about it and she said that i wasnt ready for it but i finally talked to her last night and i was able to change her mind and now she is fine with me getting baptized :-) i dont know when im getting baptized but i know that i am getting baptized :) soon
Saturday, January 19, 2008
feelings of home
im finally home
it took almost a month to get back here but man was it worth the wait.
this is probably the first place that i have actually felt that i belong.
i have amazing friends here that are always there for me when i need to talk and always know what to say when i need to hear it especially if im acting like an idiot and worrying about things i really dont need to.
at the beginning of the year i met up with some people that introduced me to christ for the first time that i could remeber and since then i have been trying to live my life like i should have been living it my whole life.
sometime i find it hard to follow him but i know that without him i would not be here today and i am thankful beyond words or what he has done for mankind that he didnt need to but chose to.
and i think that he is the biggest reason for why am finally happy for one of the first times in my life.
because before i got to western it felt that really didnt belong anywhere in oldham county and it was amazing to just be able to escape from my old life and start a brand new one at western kentucky.
one of the best things he has changed in my life is the girl that he has put in it. she is probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me and even though she is no longer at western she is still a huge part of my life and i never want to lose.
it took almost a month to get back here but man was it worth the wait.
this is probably the first place that i have actually felt that i belong.
i have amazing friends here that are always there for me when i need to talk and always know what to say when i need to hear it especially if im acting like an idiot and worrying about things i really dont need to.
at the beginning of the year i met up with some people that introduced me to christ for the first time that i could remeber and since then i have been trying to live my life like i should have been living it my whole life.
sometime i find it hard to follow him but i know that without him i would not be here today and i am thankful beyond words or what he has done for mankind that he didnt need to but chose to.
and i think that he is the biggest reason for why am finally happy for one of the first times in my life.
because before i got to western it felt that really didnt belong anywhere in oldham county and it was amazing to just be able to escape from my old life and start a brand new one at western kentucky.
one of the best things he has changed in my life is the girl that he has put in it. she is probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me and even though she is no longer at western she is still a huge part of my life and i never want to lose.
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